Avoidable arguments for new parents

Becoming new parents is an exciting journey — but it can also bring unexpected tensions. Sleep deprivation, big life adjustments, and differing parenting styles can cause avoidable arguments. The good news? With a little communication and teamwork, many of these conflicts can be avoided or quickly smoothed over.

💬 1. Who’s More Tired?

✅ How to Avoid It:

• Remember: You’re both tired — it’s not a competition!
• Focus on supporting each other rather than keeping score.
• Use phrases like: “I know you’re tired — how can I help?” instead of “I’m way more exhausted.”

⏰ 2. Taking Turns for Night Feeds

✅ How to Avoid It:

• Create a fair schedule for night shifts.
• If one parent is breastfeeding, the other can handle diaper changes or burping.
• Have a plan but be flexible if one parent is having an extra tough day.

🧼 3. Housework Responsibilities

✅ How to Avoid It:

• A messy house is normal with a newborn — let go of perfection.
• Divide tasks realistically (e.g., one handles laundry, the other does dishes).
• Use a chore chart or app to keep track without nagging.

👨‍👩‍👧 4. Parenting Styles

✅ How to Avoid It:

• Discuss parenting values before the baby arrives (like sleep training or screen time).
• Accept that you may have different approaches — and that’s okay!
• Agree on what matters most and give each other grace on the smaller stuff.

📲 5. Too Much Screen Time (for Parents)

✅ How to Avoid It:

• Set small rules like “No phones during family time” or “Screens down during night feeds”.
• Be honest if you feel disconnected and suggest activities together (even if it’s just watching a show or playing music for the baby).

💸 6. Money Stress

✅ How to Avoid It:

• Create a baby budget before the little one arrives.
• Agree on what’s worth splurging on (like a quality car seat) vs. saving on (designer clothes).
• Have regular money check-ins so no one feels blindsided by expenses.

🛑 7. Unwanted Advice from Family & Friends

✅ How to Avoid It:

• Set boundaries together — and support each other when enforcing them.
• Use phrases like: “Thank you for your advice, but we’re doing what’s best for our family.”
• Keep your circle small when it comes to big decisions.

❤️ What to Remember

• You’re on the same team — not opponents.
• Communication is everything!
• Small gestures like a thank-you note, hug, or coffee delivery can go a long way.
• This phase is temporary — but your partnership is forever.